The Hound and the Blacksmith: The First Case
by Elf
Summary: One's a Celtic demi-god with a lust for battle and the ladies, the other is a former Counter Guardian who's body is made of swords. Together they fight the forces of evil.  Or something.
1. In Which Things Are Somewhat Explained

**Disclaimer: **I don't own them, Type-Moon and Nasu does.

**Author's Notes: **This story might rape the Nasuverse cannon more than a little. Also, be forewarned, this story is greatly inspired by 80's buddy cop movies like "Lethal Weapon". So expect lots of violence, things blowing up, fights, witty dialogue, and maybe some questionable adult content at latter venues.

**The Hound and the Blacksmith**

**The First Tale: The Hound and the Blacksmith**

**By Elf**

_Prologue_

_In Which Things Are (Somewhat) Explained_

**London, England**

_There will be a massacre. _

Archer gritted his teeth as his empty hands curled and uncurled, itching for the feel of leather and steel between palms and fingers. A deep breath was drawn in, but the urge for blades was not quelled. Yet he stood there, silently watching the proceedings. However if one wrong word was uttered blood would be spilled.

The proceedings were like sharks circling as if blood had been spilled, the slightest sign of weakness would bring on a frenzy. Magi from around the world were gathered, watching sharply for signs of weakness and ready to pounce. Their prey had something they all wanted either it be her lands, her magical talent to improve their own dying blood lines, or to sate their own lusts on her gorgeous, youthful form.

Tohsaka Rin stood proudly though, even though he knew well enough that she was terrified. The Mage's Association was judging her on the events of what had happened during the Fifth Grail War. Archer figured they were full of questions, after all one Servant had been made corporeal and was now the CEO of a multi-billion dollar corporation, two were made living flesh and blood again, and a living prana furnace was fueling another to keep from burning herself out. Then there was the fact that world had almost ended, the Third Magic had been realized and a bastardized version of the Second battled a twisted version of the Third, and there was a small matter of a Sealer being murdered by the War's Moderator.

Archer had a feeling that they were going to pass judgment and give Rin "options". _If that happens, they're all dead._

"Now, boy the Association might be a giant mess, but it's in no need of a cleaner yet," a deep, rolling male voice with a heavy Germanic accent said from behind him.

He spun around and felt his eyes widen to the point where he swore they were going to bulge from their sockets. The speaker was shorter than Archer with grey hair and a sharply trimmed beard. His features were angular with a squared jaw and a hawk like nose and he wore a necklace with precious gems and had two rings on each hand. Black robes fell to the floor, finishing the picture perfect image of the ancient Magician before him.

"Zelretch," Archer whispered with a shake of his head.

Eyes like the rubies in his necklace met Archer's as a slow smile spread across his face. "No Lord Marshall, Shirou?" Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg asked with a slight smile.

Archer folded his arms across his chest and said, "You're use to magi bowing and scraping at your feet in half fear and half respect. I'd wager you're annoyed about it after a couple of centuries."

"True," Zelretch said, "However, you're close to a Wizard yourself, or at least damned good proof that the Third still exists."

Archer swallowed and said, "Ilya wasn't trying to bring me back as well."

"I think the von Einzbern homunculus just wanted her 'Onii-chan' alive and happy. She did house your soul in her. If anyone knew you, it was her," Zelretch replied.

"What are you doing here, Old Man? Waiting to see what sentence they pass on Rin?" Archer replied as he smothered the anger at the Wizard's words.

Zelretch lifted one rather bushy eyebrow and answered, "And the resulting massacre because someone's too overprotective, yet doesn't have the cajones to makes a confession."

_It's not that obvious, _Archer thought as he looked to where Rin was standing. She looked so small and so alone in the center of magi who were sitting in archaic chairs while she stood. The red suit she was wearing was a bit awkward on her slim frame and her long, raven hair was pulled back into a heavy bun. The image was so different than the one he was use to with his former Master. An urge to run up to her, pull her hair free and carry her from her accusers was even stronger than the one to take swords in hand.

_Then again, Tohsaka Rin has always proven to be a weak spot for me after she Summons me, _Archer thought. His eyes narrowed at the Wizard and he said, "That's really none of your business."

"Honestly, I'd never think that anyone of Nagato's line would have came as far as she had, but given a few decades there might be a new Master of the second," Zelretch said with a shake of his head, "Not to mention the Servant she Summons happens to be from an alternate reality as well."

Archer gritted his teeth and said, "All that magic won't mean a thing if they take it from her or worse."

"Which is why I'm here," Zelretch said as he reached out to pat Archer's shoulder, "I'm going to save my most promising apprentice and mess with the Association. This is what I call a good day."

He blinked as the ancient Dead Apostle started to move past him. He met the man's crimson eyes and said, "You're not what I expected."

"And you need to stop brooding," Zelretch said before moving towards the group of magi assembled as they were about to pass sentence on Rin.

**Fuyuki City, Japan**

"So, you didn't have to kill anyone, did you, Archer?" Misty violet eyes looked up with the tiniest hint of a smile before a lock of matching hair was tucked behind an ear.

Archer shook his head as he lifted the steaming pot of tea. He said, "No, Rin had an unexpected benefactor. Wizard Marshall Zelretch stood up for her, offered to take on some apprentices, and then Rin's lands and . . . herself were forgotten."

Matou Sakura pushed her teacup towards him and sighed, her slim shoulders drooping. She shook her head and asked, "What happened?"

"A couple of single male magi from prosperous families needing heirs were eyeing her more than she was comfortable with," Archer said with a shake of his head.

Sakura reached out and patted his hand. She said, "Thank you for going with her. I was afraid what would have happened if I would have asked Lancer to go."

"Lancer was just wanting to go in case of the slight chance he got to fight anyone," Archer said with a snort and a shake of his head. He held the tea pot steady as he filled both of their cups, the aromatic steam filling the room and his nostrils. The sweet smell relaxed tense muscles and the practice of pouring tea was almost as meditative as brewing it from the leaf.

Sakura's eyes gleamed as she grinned while picking up the pot of sugar and said, "That's why I asked you, well, and your feelings for Nee-san are pretty obvious."

Archer sighed and asked, "Why do people keep telling me that?"

"Maybe because I've found happiness with Sempai I want the man who helped save me happy too," Sakura said with a smile, "And maybe having a boyfriend might calm Nee-san down."

He chuckled and asked, "How is the punk?"

"And I thought I hated myself," Sakura said with a shake of her head, "He's going well. You know, maybe you and Nee-san should come over for dinner."

He smiled and said, "I'd think that might be a good idea."

"And you'd better make tea," Sakura said with a grin.

He said, "Of course, the kid's still at the point of using teabags."

"And you _know_ how Nee-san reacts to tea from a teabag," Sakura said with a lopsided grin, "She _thinks_ she's hiding the fact that her eyes narrow and her nose curls, but it's pretty obvious. Not to mention it scares Sempai."

He replied, "Hell, it scares me."

"Well, you were Sempai," Sakura said with a soft smile as her eyes met his.

Archer sighed and said, "Yeah, I know. Don't remind me."

"Now it's time for the brooding and cynicism. You know, maybe you need to do something other than being Nee-san's Servant," Sakura said as she stirred some cream in her tea.

Archer asked, "So, what does a former Counter Guardian and Servant do?"

"I might have an idea," Sakura said as she lifted her tea cup to her lips.


	2. The Hound

**Disclaimer: **I don't own them, Type-Moon and Nasu does.

**Author's Notes: **This story might rape the Nasuverse cannon more than a little. Also, be forewarned, this story is greatly inspired by 80's buddy cop movies like "Lethal Weapon". So expect lots of violence, things blowing up, fights, witty dialogue, and maybe some questionable adult content at latter venues. However, with that said, it's ending up like an Urban Fantasy like _The Dresdan Files_ or _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. (Then again, I love Jim Butcher and Joss Whedon has been my master since I was fourteen.)

**The Hound and the Blacksmith**

**The First Tale: The Hound and the Blacksmith**

**The First Case**

_**Part One: The Hound**_

**By Elf**

The air had a nice crispness to it that felt achingly good against sweat dampened clothing and the stickiness on the nape of the neck. The man who had been born with the name Setanta, taken the name Cù Chulainn, and was currently known as Lancer tilted his head up and closed his eyes. Nostrils flared catching the scents of sweat, many different forms of perfume and other oddities that covered one's natural scent, flowers and a variety of foods cooking. He inhaled the scents deeply until a particularly welcome one caught his attention and his eyes opened.

Keen ears twitched to locate the familiar soft foot falls of another hunter, even though the lass was blissfully unaware of it. His eyes narrowed at the familiar head of shoulder length hair the color of fox fur as exotically tilted amber eyes met his. A smile spread out over a pretty face as one hand lifted itself in greeting as the gesture was returned. Lancer's eyes raked over the winning combination of sleek muscles and ripe feminine curves garbed in tight trews that accented them and a green long sleeved shirt that brought out her hair and eyes.

They met beside a display all but spilling flowers and one hand was brought up to tuck a lock of that lovely hair behind a delicate shell of an ear. "Hey Lancer," Mitizuri Ayako said with a smile.

"Hello Ayako. Lovely weather we're having, don't you think?" Lancer asked as he leaned against the shelf and folded his arms over his chest.

She hooked her thumbs in the belt loops of her jeans and laughed. She replied, "Better than the damned staggering heat of last week. God, if I had to listen to Matou Shinji complain about the heat one more time I think I was going to punch him."

"Considering what I've seen of the lad, you would have been doing a lot of people a favor if you had," Lancer replied with a grin and a shake of his head.

Ayako shrugged, a charming sight that caused her breasts to strain against her shirt and her hair to sway against her sharp features ever so slightly. She said, "Yeah, but Shinji's not worth the trouble. Besides, ever since Sakura hooked up with Emiya, he's been on a tight leash."

"I might hate 'em for a hound, but they need to add a muzzle to that lead as well," Lancer said as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

She giggled at that and said, "So, you like dogs?"

"You could say I have a special kinship with them," Lancer said with a grin that revealed his pointed canines.

Ayako giggled, a charming sound that made him curse his heavy trousers at the moment that was part of his uniform, and said, "I can see that. So if you're a dog, what does that make me?"

"A vixen," Lancer answered without a moment's hesitation.

A bright splash of pink graced Ayako's cheeks as she removed her hands from her belt loops to toy with her fingers. She asked, "Really?"

"Aye, those hair and eyes, not to mention you're quick and graceful," Lancer said with a grin that made his eyes close.

Ayako sheepishly shrugged and said, "Well, I've always liked foxes. When I was a kid going to the zoo they were always the animal I wanted to see the most."

"Well, kin knows kin," Lancer said with a large smile, "I bet they perked up once you approached their pin, right?"

"Now you're being ridiculous," Ayako said with a laugh and a shake of her head.

He held up his finger and said, "No, I'm being forward. Apparently there's been a difference, or so some raging arse has told me."

"You know, even though I've known you for a couple of months, I can't get use to that accent," Ayako said with a smile, "Even though I'm glad to talk to someone who doesn't have their head up their butt."

Lancer looked at the wistfulness in her lovely eyes as she seemed to gaze past the marketplace around them. He reasoned there was a reason she was drawn to Rin and Rin drawn to her.

Ayako didn't belong in this world, but she couldn't reason why. He reached out to lightly brush his hand against her arm. He said, "As lovely as my arse is, I'm not sticking my head up it."

She threw her head back as laughter bubbled forth from her lips, her head shaking ever so slightly. Amber eyes were bright as they met his before their owner shook her head with a sigh. She said, "God Lancer, you're something else."

"So I've been told," he said with a grin.

Ayako grinned and said, "Well, whatever reason you're here for I'm glad."

"I'm glad to be here too," he answered, "Even though I get bored sometimes. A bloke sometimes needs a good fight to get the blood pumping. Not much of that happening around here."

She tilted her head and asked, "Have you thought about taking some Martial Art? You could spar regularly if you did."

"No fun unless it's dangerous, lass," Lancer replied with a wistful smile of his own and a shake of his head.

Her eyes narrowed before a firm fist impacted his forearm. There was a spike of pain, but it was nothing he couldn't cope with. His nostrils flared as he took in her scent of apples, leather, clean clothing, fresh air, and a bit of sweat. It was a heady mixture that made him want to graze his teeth against her throat and other sweet places to see if she tasted like the apples she smelled like. He leaned forward, their faces almost touching and amber eyes widened, but the vixen did not retreat at the hound's advance.

It made him curse his pants a bit more and take note of how luscious she would be underneath him, or above him or, best yet, bent over with that lovely toned rear in the air begging for him. A second whiff of her scent held the tangy musk of lust, signaling she wouldn't be adverse to a good shag either. He'd teach her of men and desire until they both collapsed from it.

"Don't be an idiot," Ayako said in a low voice.

Lancer grinned and said, "Maybe I was born in another time and place. Battle's in my blood, Ayako."

There was the slightest shiver at his words and her eyes flickered over him. The color staining her cheeks darkened and a tiny tongue swept over pink lips. Ayako wore no paint to enhance her beauty, then again she didn't need to. She was natural and seemingly at odds with most of the other girls Lancer had witnessed in this time. He briefly wondered if battle was in her blood as well.

"I'm sure it is," Ayako mumbled but she was smiling.

He laughed and said, "My shift's over in half an hour. Want to grab a wee bite to eat?"

"God, you're forward," she said with a shake of her head.

He shrugged and said, "I see a chance I take it. Life's not long enough to spend wearing a mask and hiding my intentions."

"Yes, I do," Ayako said in a voice laced with steel, her hands clinched into fists.

He smiled, straightened and said, "Good. Meet me at the Ramen stand down the street?"

"Half an hour right?" Ayako asked with a grin.

Lancer laughed and said, "Well, give me a few moments. Can't properly win a lass' favor wearing this monkey suit right?"

"Well, because its you, I'll let it slip," Ayako said with a grin.

Lancer heard a familiar heavy foot fall that was his manager and gave her a wave. "I'll be counting the minutes."

She laughed and said, "Go, before I get you in trouble."

As Lancer turned to leave, he said, "It would be worth it though."

"You're something else, I'll see you soon," Ayako said, her laughter making him smile.

Rin stared at the two steamer trunks filled practically to the brim currently sitting in her living room. Archer had carefully packed everything a young female magus would need while studying abroad in London and then some. He had even placed things that would keep her clothing and other items fresh smelling for when she unpacked. She would leave tomorrow with Archer driving her to the train station and even taking the train with her to the airport.

She had promised to visit Fuyuki and her sister and her would-be-brother-in-law. Her former Servant had promised to watch over the house, and everything was set. Just her stomach was in a flutter because she realized it was the first time in over a year Archer would not be at her side. _Stupid idiot, how dare he get into my head like that, _she thought as she folded her arms under her breasts.

When Archer had sacrificed himself protecting Rin, Shirou and Ilya she had internalized his death. After all, she hadn't even known him for two weeks. It was true that she was fond of him, but she never expected to see him again so she repressed to keep going. Then she had found out who he was only to have him return from the dead fully alive and human again. Secretly she had been glad that he had stayed by her side as he had, and she knew that he would have killed most of the magi at the Association at her hearing if he didn't like their verdict. In fact, he was almost _daring _them to.

_Then again with how some of the magi were treating me, I don't blame him, _Rin thought with a shudder. One Viscount Eldridge had been particularly nasty with a bald head and a huge gut eager to spread his influence and have an heir. He had whispered to her that she would never want for anything as long as she spread her legs for him. If she hadn't been on trial she would have _gandr _him and then punched him in a way that would have made him unable to produce an heir or want a girl to spread her legs for him ever again.

There were many who wanted her lands and then others who wanted a young trophy wife to produce heirs with magical talent to marry off to other families. Eldridge had wanted both and apparently had enough influence to make it happen. The nasty man had made Rin's skin crawl and Archer had picked up on that, making sure to never leave the two of them alone in a room. He was always at her side during the whole ordeal like her own private knight errant.

"Rin, I've got tea," Archer said with a smile as he appeared holding a new tea set he had bought for himself by doing odd jobs for the yakuza – what she didn't know and he had told her not to ask with a smirk.

She said, "Thank you." He handed her a tea cup, prepared with the amount of cream and sugar she always took. The heavenly scent filled the room and relaxed tension filled muscles. Rin sank on her couch as Archer set the tea set down on the coffee table before sitting on the chair across from her. "God, I'm going to miss this," she said with a shake of her head.

"Well, you'll be back to visit and after a couple of years you'll be back," Archer said with a grin that didn't quite meet his steel grey eyes.

_Will you still be here? Would you come visit me because you can't bare not being at my side? _Rin cursed her train of thought, but it was there just the same. Her eyes flickered over her Archer, taking in spiked white hair, broad shoulders, long limbs, and rugged features. _And he has a Reality Marble and was a Counter Guardian. Few modern magi would be able to touch him, _a tiny snide voice pointed out.

_And he's Emiya Shirou. He was ready to slaughter the entire Mage's Association for me._

Rin nodded at Archer's comment and she said, "That's right. After all I need to make sure you and Sakura are taking good care of my Lands."

"Of course," Archer said in a stiff tone.

Rin put her teacup down and sighed. "Archer . . ."

"I'm going to miss you, that's all Rin," he said as he looked away from her.

Her eyes widened and her heart started to pound. Many boys had confessed to her before, but she couldn't care less about them. However her eyes fixated on him, wanting him to say those words. Words that would tell her to tell him to come to London with her, that Sakura and Shirou could take care of things here. That Rider would make sure Lancer would behave. She wanted the person who could challenge and stand up to her, and did. No one teased her like he did and no one could keep up with her like he did.

Then he smiled and said, "And I might have to save up for a trip to London, make sure that fat bastard is leaving you alone."

"I'm not on trial now. If he makes a move, I can take care of myself," Rin said as she picked up her tea cup again.

Archer's voice was soft as he said, "I know."

_Tohsaka, I just won the bet, _Ayako thought happily as the blue haired Irishman approached, _And I don't care about what your creepy butler says about him either_. He was dressed in black leather pants, but not the obnoxiously shiny ones that some of the posers liked to wear, and a white T-shirt that only seemed to accent sleekly, sculpted muscles. As always his long blue hair was tied back at the nape of his neck with a clasp that gleamed in a way that had to be real silver. She absently wanted to know what he'd look like with his hair unbound and the waist length strands floating around him. _Would his hair be coarse or would it fill like silk between my fingers, _she thought with heat rising in her cheeks as he waved boisterously at her.

She ran her fingers through her own hair before smiling back at him as he met her beside the noodle stand. She grinned and said, "You're quick."

"When it comes to getting something good, aye, I am," Lancer said with a smile that flashed his overly long canines and made his crimson eyes gleam.

She giggled at that and said, "So, I hope you don't expect me to himmm and haw and order a salad."

"I'd gag if you did," Lancer said as he extended his arm with a wide grin.

Her heart fluttered as she slid her arm into his and looked up at him. She replied, "And that's why I like you."

"Because I don't want some simpering decoration," Lancer said with a wink.

Ayako sighed and answered, "And you're honest. God, I'm tired of people lying to me." She shook her head with a sigh as they got into the line leading up to the stand.

A frown curved Lancer's wide mouth and he asked, "What's the matter, lass?"

"Like I get the feeling that everyone around me has some damned secret or something," Ayako said before looking away. She gritted her teeth at the out burst and sighed, her shoulders slumping slightly.

A large, callused hand rested on her shoulder before gently turning her back to look into a surprisingly serious face. Eerie crimson eyes with their odd elliptical pupils met hers and Ayako swallowed as she looked up into Lancer's handsome, angular face. He said in his low, lilting voice, "Ayako . . . bugger it. Let's get something to eat and I want to show you something."

"Look if this is some attempt to get me into bed . . ." Ayako said with a frown.

He laughed and said, "Oh no, lass. If I was going to get you into bed tonight I'd just throw you over my shoulder and take you."

"What?" Ayako said as she glared up at him, "What the hell do you mean by that?"

Lancer winched and said, "Well, you'd probably try to rid me of my bits . . . But if I was going to bed you, I'd be forward about it. Not that I don't want to bed you, because I do."

"You weren't lying about being forward about it," Ayako said as she stared at him wide eyed with a blush, "I mean, this is our first date and we're already talking about _that_."

The blue tail spilled onto Lancer's shoulder as he tilted his head said, "I'd earn that right anyway. Part of the fun is the chase."

"I can see that," Ayako replied as the heat in her cheeks increased even more.

Lancer chuckled, a low sound that was a bit wicked and made things below her waist clinch ever so slightly. It was a sound of promise and knowledge of things to do in the dark. Hushed whispers, gasps, questing fingers and all the stuff Ayako secretly read about in romance novels. Except she had no notion of swooning into Lancer's brawny arms, and god they were brawny, but she'd prove herself as his equal and make him see it.

He said, "It is." Then he winked, a lopsided smile gracing his face.

She chuckled and replied, "Somehow I'm not surprised."

"What are you doing here, dog?" a low feminine voice said from behind that was like someone trailing a buck of ice over Ayako.

Automatically she stiffened and her arm that was cradled in Lancer's tightened around it. Her breath caught as her heart began to race as stillness swept over her. Lancer frowned and turned his head before he bared his fangs in a silent growl at the intruder. Ayako kept looking firmly ahead until slim fingers traced along her free shoulder.

"Ayako, what are you doing with this mongrel?" the all too unwanted voice asked in her exotic accent.

The young archer swallowed as she turned her head to look at the woman who was all graceful curves and long, flowing lavender hair with a face that haunted Ayako's nightmares. Ayako's chest tightened as she felt the ghost of silken hair touching every inch of her body as chains were wrapped around her wrist, lifting her hands over her head. The lovely face behind it's blindfold nuzzled the nape of Ayako's neck before a smile spread across sultry lips while all the while an oddly familiar voice laughed.

"Ayako?" the foreign woman asked as she used her index finger to push her glasses up. Ayako swallowed as she looked up into lilac eyes with pupils that _were not round_. The urge to scream bellowed up and held on tight until the girl was all but trembling.

Ayako swallowed and said, "R-Rider."

"I knew you would remember my name," the woman said with a fetching smile, those queer eyes closing.

Ayako's other hand was now gripping Lancer's forearm, hoping Rider would take the hint. She said, "H-how could I forget?"

"The others did not remember, then again I knew you were special," Rider said with a smile, "Eating well?"

Lancer snorted and said, "Bugger off, Rider."

"Does Ayako know what sort of man you really are, Lancer?" Rider said with a wicked curve of her lips.

Ayako frowned and looked up at him. Lancer said, "That's something I was going to explain, Lass . . ."

"What did you say to me the first time our . . . paths crossed, Lancer?" Rider said with a thoughtful tilt of her head as one long finger taped her lips. Her eyes lit up and she snapped her fingers as she looked at Ayako. "What's a lovely lass like you doing with a sniveling little runt like him? Why don't you ditch him and know what a real man's like."

Lancer swallowed and said, "Those weren't my exact words."

"I know, I was editing them due to the delicate company we're keeping," Rider said with a shrug.

Ayako glared at her "date" before pushing her arm free of his. He didn't stumble as his face fell. He said, "Ayako lass . . ."

"God, that creepy guy that hangs out with Tohsaka was right. You are some shameless skirt chaser!" Ayako snapped before turning sharply on her heel and walking away from both of them. As she walked away she heard both Rider and Lancer's heated voices, but she paid them no mind.

Heat prickled along her skin and up and down her spine as she walked away from the crowded market place. _God, why does everyone keep lying to me? First Tohsaka, then Emiya . . . Now Lancer. I thought he was different. _

_Damn you Tohsaka. It's not fair, you get to leave and go abroad while I'm stuck in this hell hole, _Ayako thought as she headed to her home. Minori would probably be there reading the latest chapter of _Black Lagoon_ and ready to show off Revy kicking ass. Her parents would come home late tonight from work without words for either of their siblings. Then tomorrow she would go back to school to an ungrateful archery club. Even though she had gotten acceptances to quite a few good schools she had no idea what she wanted to do.

All she knew was she didn't want to get married for money and keep her head down to be a good housewife. She wanted to explore . . . _And Tohsaka even arranged it to graduate early. Well, at least she doesn't have a boyfriend yet, _Ayako thought with a sigh.

_I want to go with you._

Five simple words that stung on the very tip of Archer's tongues like the thousand blades within him.

Rin was looking up at the dull green glow of the screen displaying the airport's departures and estimated times of arrival. She was dressed in red and black as always, but the mini skirt was replaced with a more modest pencil skirt while her loafers were replaced with ankle boots. White skin was flushed ever so slightly with pink as aquamarine eyes reflected the sickly glow ahead while even white teeth worried a bottom lip. Rin lifted a finger as her eyes narrowed in concentration as she traced the path on the screen.

"In Hong Kong there's a layover of about forty five minutes to get to the connecting flight to Moscow," Archer said as he finished putting the last trunk on the conveyer belt.

Rin nodded and said, "I know. Then from Moscow there's a connecting flight in Rome, then Paris and finally London." A smile flashed across her features and she said, "It's finally happening Archer, I'm going to the Clocktower."

He nodded and said, "I know. Your father would have been proud."

"Honestly, I don't care what he would have thought. I will always practice magecraft, but I won't be a magus like those idiots like my father and those morons at the Association who thought they had the right to put me on trial," Rin said with a shake of her head.

Archer smiled and said, "Good. I don't want them changing you."

"Oh?" Rin said as her nervous smile tilted ever so slightly and her aquamarine eyes narrowing ever so slightly.

He shook his head and said, "I rather like my Ma . . ." He grimaced as the word "Master" readily left his lips even after all of this time. "I rather like you the way you are."

"Yet you do nothing but tease me," Rin said with a smile that softened her features.

He smirked and replied, "Someone needs to keep your head on straight."

"Well, you're the only one who can," Rin replied with a smirk of her own.

Archer looked up at the clock and said, "It's almost time for you to board."

"I know," Rin said before looking down. She looked back up and said, "Archer . . ."

His heart quickened as he looked down at this small girl who held so much power over him. As always a mixture of guilt and need warred within him as their eyes met. She was so young, but so aware. Tohsaka Rin was his lifeline and not for the first time he wondered what would have happen if he could have made something with her in his original life time. He wanted her, and he wanted her to want him.

They stood facing each other amidst the crowded thong, but it seemed it was just the two of them. "Damn it," Rin said gnashing her teeth as she took a step closer to him. Their bodies were almost touching, her raven head resting right along his shoulders. She was so small, yet each movement spoke of confidence and power. It made him wonder what she'd look like in a few years when she developed into the strong woman he got glimpses of now and again.

"Rin," he said as he reached out to stroke her long, raven hair. The strands felt like heavy silk against callused fingertips while the scent of tea and roses was intoxicating. Rin looked up at him before shaking her head.

She folded her arms under her breasts and said, "Archer, take care, and take care of my city."

"I'll miss you," Archer said, the words tripping out in a rush.

She smiled and said, "I'll miss you too . . . Shirou."

"Shirou?" Archer said, the name long since dead to him felt odd against his tongue and lips. He hadn't thought of himself of Emiya Shirou in ages, yet Rin was calling him that name. Warmth pooled through him at Rin being so forward to him.

She nodded and said, "The others might not see it as easily as I do, but . . ."

"I want to go with you, Rin," Archer said, the words finally escaping him.

An announcement blared over the intercom announcing Last Call for Rin's flight. She grimaced and said, "Damn it. Archer . . . ."

"You need to go," Archer said with a sigh.

Aquamarine eyes narrowed at him as Rin snapped, "You're a damned idiot. Once you get your head out of your ass, you know where I'll be at." With that she turned away from him to run and catch her flight. Archer sighed, shook his head and looked up.

"Stupid low luck rating," he grumbled as he watched Rin vanish from view into the crowds.


	3. Restless Archers

**Disclaimer: **I don't own them, Type-Moon and Nasu does.

**Author's Notes: **This story might rape the Nasuverse cannon more than a little. Also, be forewarned, this story is greatly inspired by 80's buddy cop movies like "Lethal Weapon". So expect lots of violence, things blowing up, fights, witty dialogue, and maybe some questionable adult content at latter venues.

Also, the more that I think about it, this story is becoming more and more like an Urban Fantasy story, like Jim Butcher's "The Dresdan Files". Which, if you're not reading do so.

**The Hound and the Blacksmith**

**The First Tale: The Hound and the Blacksmith**

_**Part Two: Restless Archers**_

**By: Elf**

"I need something to clean."

Sakura blinked at the tall man standing in her kitchen with a scowl on other wise handsome features with his arms crossed over his broad chest. Steel grey eyes were narrowed as they surveyed the room in the hope to find a speck of dirt or anything. She sighed and walked over to her friend and the man who had been more of a big brother to her than her own brother.

She said, "Archer, you should know fully well there's nothing to do here."

"I've already cleaned the Tohsaka mansion from roof to basement, organized Rin's lab twice, and reshelved her library," Archer said with a scowl as his shoulders slumped.

She smiled, shook her head and replied, "You waited too long."

"I told her I wanted to go with her," he said, his voice rising ever so slightly.

Sakura patted his shoulder and said, "It doesn't help that you say it when she needs to get on the plane. You're too late."

"She said I could come for her," Archer said slowly with a frown as he ran a hand through his spiky white hair.

Sakura laughed and said, "Weren't her words, 'Once you get your head out of your ass, you know where I'll be at,'?"

"Well, yes, but for your sister that's her way of saying come after me," Archer said with a slight smile.

"Like your way of saying 'I love you' is heavy sarcasm and teasing with the occasional complement?" Sakura asked with a slight giggle.

Archer blinked and said, "Well . . ."

"I hope my Sempai doesn't become as tsundere as you are," Sakura said with another giggle.

He frowned and said, "I'm not tsundere."

"Yes you are," Sakura said with a giggle as she started to root through the cabinets for the tools to make dinner.

His lower lip thrust up, he folded his arms over his chest again, looked away and grumbled, "I am not tsundere."

Sakura giggled, shook her head and walked over the refrigerator. She said, "Not that there's anything wrong with that."

"Damn it," Archer said with a sigh before joining her at the refrigerator. In a unison that belied words the two of them began to grab the ingredients needed to feed the three of them and Fujimura-sensei, who was all a flutter at joining "Archer-san" for dinner.

"You're almost out of fennel," Archer said with narrowed eyes and a frown as he peered into the chilled box.

Sakura pulled out some leeks and said, "We have enough for the salad tonight. I'm going shopping tomorrow."

"Do you need help?" Archer asked.

"No I'll have Rider with me. She's off tomorrow," Sakura said before looking at him, "Speaking of which, do you have a job?"

Archer swallowed and said, "I work for Fujumura-dono."

"You're not caught up in the yakuza are you?" Sakura asked with a frown.

He shrugged and said, "I'd rather have him as the lord of Fuyuki than some other boss. The crime rate in this city would be a lot higher if he wasn't in his position, not to mention drug use and prostitution."

"You're not doing anything dangerous or unsavory are you?" she asked with a frown as she tapped a carrot on her hip.

Archer shook his head and answered, "No, a bunch of repair work actually. I'm saving up money to start a shop."

"I don't see you as a handy-man for the rest of your life," Sakura said with a smile.

He frowned, snorted and said, "I already tried the superhero gig and you know how that story ended. I'm counting on you to keep that punk at home even if he has to be a house husband."

"Sempai's actually been expressing interest in studying law again," Sakura said with a soft smile as she cradled an armful of wrapped beef in her arms.

Archer's expression softened as he said, "Good."

"Did you have an interest in that too, Archer?" Sakura asked, eager to get some insight on

her lover through this future version of him.

He chuckled and answered, "Yeah, I did, and I also wanted to travel. I doubt he's going to much now that he has something worth staying at home for."

Her cheeks flushed at that and she looked away. She said, "Well . . . I'm glad. I really have no desire to go anywhere . . . However . . ."

"You like plants right? Ever thought about becoming a botanist? You could breed a new form of cherry tree or stronger flowers," Archer said as he took the head of fennel and placed it on the chopping block. Sakura shut the refrigerator door with her foot as she watched him swiftly brandish the blade as if it was an extension of his arm.

She smiled and said, "I don't have the grades to do such things Archer."

"You still have a year of school left. Hit the books. I doubt all the genius went to Rin," he said with a smile as the leafed vegetable was chopped into even pieces. He handed her the root with a smile and she took it.

The scent of licorice tickled her nostrils before she bit down on the tangibly sweet plant, nibbling delicately. She swallowed the first mouthful and said, "I'm not as smart as nee-san, Archer. You know that."

"But you're smarter than you're giving yourself credit for. You just haven't had a chance or someone to let you explore that. I'm sure the punk would be more than happy to support any and everything you did," Archer said as he pointed the knife in her direction.

Sakura eyed him and said, "You know I don't like it when you call Sempai a punk."

"It's a rather interesting case of self-loathing. He calls me an asshole," Archer replied with a shrug.

She sighed and said, "I wish the two of you would get along."

"You know what they say about opposites attracting? Parallels repel," Archer said with a lopsided smirk as he reached for the carrots.

Sakura moved to push the fennel into a bowl and asked, "Semapi is the idea and fantasy of the superhero while you're the harsh reality?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much it," Archer said with a chuckle.

She grinned and said, "Well, no wonder nee-san's taken with you. She's never had much of an imagination."

"You should see the books she borrows from Ayako," Archer said with another chuckle.

Sakura snorted and said, "She's going to get a rude awakening when she realizes what sex is really like if all she has to go on are those books. Well . . . I trust that you'll see her through that when the time comes Archer."

He turned five shades of red, ducked his head and grumbled, "Don't talk about such things, Sakura . . ."

"Well, I know that you think about it," Sakura said with a chuckle.

Archer looked at her and said, "But I shouldn't. She's ten years younger than I am physically now. I'm like a dirty old man going after a school girl."

"The thing of it is, when I ever pictured nee-san with anyone . . . they were always older. She'd just get frustrated with someone her age. Part of her attraction to you is that you can match her better than the rest of us," Sakura said with a grin.

Archer frowned and said, "What do you mean match her?"

"In teasing or in conversation," Sakura said as she pressed her lips together, "She loses the rest of us and gets angry when she does. You . . . you can keep up with her and she doesn't get frustrated."

The knife stopped and was laid against the cutting board. Archer reached out and stroked her hair. His smile was soft and kind, actually meeting his eyes for once. Sakura's breath caught as she caught a glimpse of the man her Sempai would become and swallowed.

"You know your sister loves you very much, but Rin's not good at expressing such things," Archer said softly.

Sakura sighed and said, "I know . . ."

"Now we've got to make enough food to feed Fuji-nee and the three of us," Archer said with a grin.

Sakura laughed and said, "I try to comfort you, and you end up comforting me."

"We're both magi so we should believe in equivalent exchange," Archer said in a high pitched voice as he held up his index finger mirroring Rin.

Laughter welled up from the kitchen in the Emiya household as the surrogate family banded together to create a feast to soothe a hungry tiger.

The target had a rather handsome face with sharp features, a wide mouth, laughing red eyes and long blue hair. An arrow rammed right into the aristocratic nose and vibrated from where it hit. Moments later another arrow struck right into that boyish smile, then the forehead, and one of those stupid silver earrings he was never caught without.

Ayako was breathing hard as she riddled the target wearing Lancer's face in her mind with arrows. There was a low whistle behind her when a familiar voice said, "Someone's got your knickers in a twist Mitsuzuri."

"Shut up, Shinji," Ayako said between gritted teeth as she nocked another arrow on her bow, aimed and let the arrow fly. This time the arrow caught Lancer's throat.

Matou Shinji whistled and said, "Still, that's not bad."

"Shouldn't you be chatting up some first years?" Ayako asked as she adjusted her gi before glaring at him.

Silence stretched along the archery range as the members of the Archery Club stared at its two captains having yet another argument. Ever since February of their second year the arguments hadn't been nearly as fierce, but Ayako was still in a foul temper from yesterday. Shinji frowned and said, "Easy there Mitsuzuri."

"Or do you want to settle this with a contest?" she asked as she continued to glare at him.

He smirked, his queer eyes glittering as he answered, "Are you sure you want to embarrass yourself like that?"

"Well, I figure the guy who asked Tohsaka twice and got turned down each time would know all about embarrassment," Ayako said with a frosty smile.

Shinji all but bristled as he replied, "At least I wasn't caught wandering downtown naked."

_Chains musically clicked as her arms were hosted above her head. Lavender hair created a curtain of intimacy that made Ayako's stomach clinch. Cool, slender hands with elegant fingers traced heated features before nimbly unbuttoning a troublesome uniform. A blind offered no insight into the eyes of the wanton creature before her. There was a flash of sharp teeth, a painful sting then unwilling bliss . . ._

She had not been aware she had thrown the punch until her knuckles hurt and Shinji was on his back with a cry. "Ayako-chan!" Fujimura-sensei's shrill voice broke the rabble as Shinji slowly rose to his feet. Pale, pretty features were smeared with crimson as a hand reached up to staunch the bleeding.

"Ayako-chan, what do you think you're doing?" Fujimura-sensei said with a scowl and her hands her hips.

Ayako faced her, took a deep breath and said, "I need some air, Sensei." Then without a word she picked up her things and headed out of the archery range. She quickly changed in the locker rooms, not even bothering to shower, and briskly packed her bow and quiver. She knew she should have collected her arrows, but heat and red was simmering below the surface, waiting to explode.

She splashed cold water on her face and looked up at her reflection in the mirror above the sink. There were two high spots of color on her cheeks and her amber eyes were all but gleaming in the reflection. With her auburn hair Ayako didn't see her own reflection there, but the vixen Lancer had waxed poetically about yesterday.

Yesterday.

When she had been on top of the world only to have that bitch who haunted her come back. She wasn't found naked and wandering around a year ago, but Shinji had made that theory very popular. Emiya, Sakura, and Tohsaka had helped kill it, with Tohsaka actively threatening violence, but it was still an unspoken question on everyone's lips. All Ayako could remember was flashes, and she went to a doctor after regaining her senses. In the resounding check up the rape kit had came out clean. She still had her virtue, but she was plagued by memories that looked like something out of a bad horror movie.

_Vampires don't exist_, Ayako thought as she rubbed the scar that most of her shirts usually covered up.

"Mitsuzuri-sempai?" a soft, feminine voice said behind her.

Ayako spun around to see the voluptuous girlfriend of Emiya Shirou standing there. Sakura had been letting her hair grow out and Ayako had to admit that it really suited the girl. Sakura was generally quiet and soft spoken, but over the past year the girl had been blossoming. She smiled more, helped out more in the club, and it was no wonder that Minori was infatuated with her.

Ayako sighed and said, "I'm okay Sakura."

"Sometimes my brother is a jerk," Sakura said with a shake of her head.

Ayako blinked, knowing all too well of the days that Sakura would come to school with bruises or her movements were sluggish. Watching the Matou siblings back then was an easy way to figure out why Sakura was injured so often. However, ever since Sakura had been going out with Emiya the bruises and the obvious soreness were gone. Then again, it wasn't a secret that Emiya had beaten Shinji to a bloody pulp after Sakura had come to school with bruises on her face. It was the start of the long spiral that got their star archer to quit the team.

Ayako sighed and said, "It's just been a bad week."

"Anything I can do to help?" Sakura asked as she took a step forward.

Ayako smirked and said, "Yeah, get your boyfriend to join the team again."

"I don't think he'll do that," Sakura said with a bright smile.

The older girl shrugged and said, "I know, but I had to try. Besides, we'll graduate soon so it won't matter anyway. You'd just had better take good care of the team, Sakura."

"I will," the girl said with an easy smile before peering at her with her large, violet eyes.

Ayako swallowed and said, "Thanks. I just need to get home and clear my head."

"Please be careful," Sakura said with a tiny bow.

She nodded and said, "I will."

_Not like I'm going to get attacked by another vampire or anything._

**More Author's Notes and Self-Promotion: **Okay, Archer occasionally breaks the 4th wall in this fic. Not like anything major, but a few shout outs here and there. Like him thinking he's a dirty old man, him being tsundere and his comment on his "low luck rating" in the last chapter.

Now with all of that serious crap out of the way, I've been professionally published recently and like all good authors I need to promote myself. Plus the books are really cool. . - Check out "Fem-Fangs" for tales of female creatures of the night who don't fucking sparkle. My story is "Night of the Suck" by Jennifer L. Barnes.

Also, if you want to check out my serious writing there's this little story I've been working on called _Steel and Cherry Blossoms_. It's Archer and Sakura. It's dark, a little depressing and hopefully will have a happy sexy ending. I'm Elf. You know someone's going to be bumping uglies in one of my stories in some point and time.

You can find it here: .net/s/6263060/1/Steel_and_Cherry_Blossoms


	4. It Comes In Threes

**Disclaimer: **I don't own them, Type-Moon and Nasu does.

**Author's Notes: **This story might rape the Nasuverse cannon more than a little. Also, be forewarned, this story is greatly inspired by 80's buddy cop movies like "Lethal Weapon". So expect lots of violence, things blowing up, fights, witty dialogue, and maybe some questionable adult content at latter venues. However, with that said, it's ending up like an Urban Fantasy like _The Dresdan Files_ or _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. (Then again, I love Jim Butcher and Joss Whedon has been my master since I was fourteen.)

**The Hound and the Blacksmith**

**The First Tale: The Hound and the Blacksmith**

**The First Case**

_**Part Three: It Comes In Threes**_

**By Elf**

"You know what I don't like Japan?"

Eloise sighed at the all too familiar Cockney accent of their one male companion and looked at the tall, slim form dressed all in black with an ever present loli-pop between full lips. His dark green hair fell in his face and harmonized with his glowing crimson eyes. With his high cheekbones, sharp features, and long black coat Ethan looked very much the part of the lovable rogue he liked to play.

Eloise asked, "What don't you like about Japan, Ethan?"

"It's full of bad food, crowded, and old men try to look up my skirt," a small, high pitch voice replied. Eloise looked at the pouting face framed by large, glossy chestnut curls with giant eyes the same crimson that both Eloise and Ethan sported. She was dressed in a pink romper dress clutching a teddy bear with one arm and she stood all of a meter and less than a third of one tall. Eden was the third member of their little trinity and bore the body of a ten year old girl.

And Eloise thought that White Knight Svelten was the only pedophile Dead Apostle running around, but then again he was only the most _famous._ Besides, he hunted little boys, not little girls like Eden had been. Eden didn't speak much of the Dead Apostle who had bit her, other than _she_ had a rather pretty singing voice. Which meant either the Dead Apostle was a lesbian pedophile or had a very disturbing Mommy Complex.

Ethan pulled the bright red confection from his lips, leaving a glossy pink trail behind and smiled. He waved the sucker at the diminutive vampire and said, "Well you can fix that by wearing pants, Eden."

"I don't like wearing pants," Eden said as she thrust out her bottom lip and tossed her hair. She then frowned up at Ethan and said, "I want a lolly too. Please give me one."

"Since you asked so nicely, little love," Ethan said with a grin as he pulled a brightly wrapped stick of candy from his duster.

Crimson eyes widened, dimples flashed and tiny fangs were displayed as the small hand reached up to take the candy. Eloise watched as Eden plucked the wrapper from it, revealing a large orb of bright green on the white cardboard stick. Eden asked, "Is it lime or apple?"

"Apple. Not much into limes myself," Ethan said before sliding the glistening drop of red between his own lips in an almost obscene gesture.

Eloise sighed and said, "Ethan, you never answered what you don't like about Japan."

"It's full of the Japanese," Ethan said with a grin.

Eden was taking small, kittenish licks of her candy before looking up at Ethan. She frowned and said in a stern voice, "That's racist, Ethan."

"Yes it is," Eloise said with a smile as she stroked the child fiend's thick curls which was rewarded with more flashing dimples and smiles as Eden leaned into her hand. "I think this is an opportune hunting ground. The Second Owner's away in London, which means that meddling Wizard won't be lurking around, and most importantly Lord Makari lives here."

"The Worm Magus?" Eden said with a tiny frown as her adoring laps were paused.

Ethan snorted, "I've heard of him. Why would he help us? And isn't there that member of the Church that was here. Heard he was a scary bloke who could use Black Keys and everything."

"Dead as a doornail," Eloise said with a smile, "He was killed by one of the Masters in the Fifth Grail War."

Eden frowned and said, "This could be dangerous, Eloise."

"Or could be a lot of fun if there's no one watching the town," Ethan said with a grin, "Plus the Japanese are a lot of perverts right? Might have some other fun than just feeding around here."

Eden stamped her small foot and scowled up at Eloise. She said, "You know how hard it is finding virgins in a country full of perverts?"

"That's why we have Eloise," Ethan said with a smile as he clinched his sucker between his teeth, "You know she can route them out one way or another."

Eloise smiled and said, "I always find what I want." As far as mystical talents go, it wasn't particularly impressive as what Ethan and Eden could do, but it was quite useful. She could find anything she wanted with very little concentration, but if she pushed herself she could have what she wanted come to her. It was what made them work so well. She could find or attract what she wanted, Ethan was excellent at defense, and Eden . . . well children could be cruel, couldn't they?

The three of them continued to walk the streets of Fuyuki City until they reached a road filled with western style homes. A tall, imposing home stood at the top of the hill like a lone sentinel despite it wasn't the largest house on this block. Yet Eloise could sense the power radiating from that place and made a note not to go there.

"Well, we're here," Eloise said as she pointed to the lavish mansion that could compare with some of the ones from their home country of England. The place was dark as a tomb and there wasn't any motion inside of it, but from what she had heard of Makari Zouken it wasn't much of a surprise.

She walked up to the door and politely knocked on it. The three of them stood at the door for countless moments as they waited. There was a loud crunch before Ethan said, "Looks like no one's home."

"We can't stay out here forever, Eloise," Eden said, a shrill edge sharpening her voice as she looked around.

A delicately earthy scent with a copper tang drifted past Eloise's nostrils. The three turned at once to a young man with wavy blue hair and odd, misty blue eyes. The teenager's eyes widened before a smile crossed his face as his eyes traveled over Eloise. His nose was swollen and red, as if someone hit it lately.

He asked, "May I help you?"

"I hope so," Eloise said with a slight bow, knowing the Japanese ate that sort of thing up, "We're looking for Makari Zouken."

The smile fell from the boy's face and he pulled something from the dull earthen tone clothing he was wearing. He said, "Come in."

There were two things the man formerly known in mythology as Cù Chulainn and currently going by Lancer knew. The first one was battle from the joy of a good fight to knowing just how to use his body to win. The second one was women. He had many lovers in his past ever since the tender age of twelve.

He liked the chase. The more he had to work for a woman the better it was in the end. He chuckled to himself as he remembered all he had to go through to be with Emer, but she had been worth it. She was also rather forgiving despite the fact he had a wandering eye and more. She was content that he always came back to her no matter who's bed he had been in. _Which was quite a few, _he thought with a grin.

Lancer was waiting between the school and where he had found out where Ayako had lived by pestering wee Rin. He had found out from the Three Track Girls when practices ended and reasoned a good time for Ayako to make her way home. He had the night off and there wasn't anything better to do around here. Besides, he wanted to make amends for their botched first date then go stab that Greek wench about twenty times with Gaè Bolg.

He heard footsteps approaching and leapt from his fence top perch. Amber eyes widened at the figure landing nimbly before her. Lancer smiled as his eyes raked over Ayako's womanly form in her school clothing. Her eyes narrowed, her body tensed and she walked past him with a harshly spat, "Go the hell away."

"Wait, lass," Lancer said with a smile as he fell in step with her.

She glared and retorted, "I don't want to talk to you. So go to hell."

"I'd rather not, maybe I want to talk to you," Lancer replied.

She spun around to face him, her eyes narrowed and her lips a narrow line. One finger was pointed at his chest as she said in a low voice, "You can go chase someone else's skirt. And you know what? Other than school I don't like wearing them."

"Shame, you've got lovely legs," Lancer said with a shrug.

Her eyes narrowed even more as she said, "I bet you said that to Rider too."

"Hey, I met Rider before I met you. Besides, she was keeping company with that Matou punk and not too willing about it," Lancer said with a shrug, "Figured I'd offer her a better bit of company. I was right rejected, but I like to look into a woman's eyes as I take her."

Ayako placed one hand on her hip and said in that same low voice, "She wears glasses."

"She was wearing a blindfold when I met her," Lancer said as he rubbed the back of his head.

Ayako sighed, threw up her hands and said, "I don't want to hear about this or any kinky sex games that you and Rider played. You know what, you two deserve each other." She started walking again, her gait and her shoulders stiff.

Sighing, Lancer reached out and caught her by the arm. Her head snapped back fast enough to cause her hair to brush against her cheeks to catch up. Amber eyes looked down at the offending hand before meeting his again. She said, "Let me go."

"Not until you hear me out," Lancer said as he looked at her.

She jerked her arm and retorted, "I don't want to hear you out."

He sighed then noticed her knuckles were red. Tilting his head, he lifted her hand closer so he could inspect it. He smiled and said, "Well, someone got under your skin tonight."

"It was Shinji. He was running his mouth and I couldn't stand it," Ayako said as she raised her other hand to cover the tale tell marks. A faint flush colored pale cheeks as a small tongue snuck out to moisten dry lips. The sight was enough to send a shot of pure need through Lancer as he took a deep breath. He drew her close and she looked up at him with wide eyes as their bodies were almost touching.

He said, "You did a good thing then. That wanker deserved what you did and more."

"I should punch you," she said with a frown as the blush intensified.

Lancer smiled and said, "If it'll make you feel better than do so." He dropped her arm and held out his hands to the side with a smile. He tilted his head and said, "Go on, pretty vixen. Take a lick at me."

"Okay, that just sounded wrong," Ayako said with wide eyes as she continued to turn a multitude of lovely shades.

He threw back his head with a laugh and said, "You were the one who twisted my words, Ayako. Now if you want to take a _lick_ at me I'd be more than happy to return the favor."

"God you're really perverted, you know that," Ayako said with a shake of her head.

He grinned and said, "I come by it honestly, but if it'll make you feel more at ease go ahead and give me a good hard blow."

"Ack!" Ayako cried as she placed her hands on her ears with a sharp shake of her head, "God, you're still doing it."

Lancer grinned and said, "Give me a good beating?"

"No!" Ayako said with wide eyes as she shook her head again, but a smile was gracing her features and her voice was colored with laughter.

He smirked at her and said, "Would a good thrashing make my intentions clearer?"

"Yes, okay," Ayako said with a laugh as she held up her hands, "I'm sorry I blew up at you yesterday."

He frowned, fluttered his eyelashes and said, "I was looking forward to our little meal together."

"I was too, but then Rider came and . . ." Ayako sighed with a shake of her head as she rubbed the back of her neck, her shoulders slumping.

Lancer frowned as he looked at her and said, "You've got a problem with the Greek wench."

"It's . . . I . . . doubt you'll even believe me," Ayako said as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"I'll believe anything you tell me, but out in the open's not the place to go baring yourself," Lancer said with a shake of his head.

Ayako's eyes widened and her hand came rushing at his arm with surprising speed. The smack of the small, feminine palm against his hard bicep stung, but that only added to the fire building within his gut. She pointed to him and said, "You're doing it again, Lancer!"

"Can't help it, it's in my nature," Lancer said with a grin as he offered his arm to her again. "Now, let's go."

Ayako eyed his arm and said, "You haven't earned that again yet."

"Don't want to come with me then?" he asked with a tilt of his head.

She smiled and replied, "I didn't say that."

"Grandfather didn't really talk that much about his dealings with people like you," Shinji said as he looked at the trio sitting across the room from him. His eyes lingered on Eloise's form with her long legs, high, firm breasts that were neither too large nor too small, and long, gleaming hair the color of a ripe apricot. Feline crimson eyes met his with a flash of a smile that made her look even more radiant than before.

The green haired male who was currently toying with a candy stick in his mouth said, "Well, we're not exactly the best of company."

"Our existence is acknowledged, but we're hunted," Eloise said with a sigh and a shake of her head.

The child piped up in her lyrical voice, "We didn't ask to be like this, Shinji."

"Well, you might have, but I went looking for it," the Englishman said with a smile flashing pointed teeth as he pulled the stick from his mouth.

Eloise smiled and said, "Ethan came across being a Dead Apostle through experiments with his magecraft. I came from an ordinary family, but apparently had the Circuits deep within me. Being bit awakened them. Little Eden was the unwanted second child of a predominant magus family that has been dead for the last century."

"I should have been the heir," Shinji said as his hands curled and uncurled into fists. He had been lucky, barely surviving Sakura's attack once Grandfather lost control over her. He'd been in a coma only to awake to find out that Sakura was now living with Emiya and having Tohsaka's Servant break into his home one night. The oddly familiar grim man stated if he ever looked at Sakura the wrong way again he would sorely regret it. Then he had thrown a damned _sword_ into Shinji's pillow right beside his head before leaving.

Eden looked around and asked, "Where is your Grandfather?"

"Dead," Shinji said with a snort, "Not that I miss him."

Eloise's eyes widened as she placed a trembling hand to her mouth. She said, "But . . . we were hoping he'd give us shelter while we were here."

"We can find someplace else. Not like this ponce can do anything to help us," Ethan said with a shrug.

Eden pouted and said, "But I _like_ this place. It smells like misery and magic."

"This is troubling," Eloise said with a shake of her head as she looked up at Shinji with wide eyes.

Shinji glared at the mouthy bastard and the brat. Then he looked at Eloise and gave her his most dazzling smile. He said, "Well, I'm sure we could work something out, Eloise. Maybe we could talk somewhere in private."

"That maybe a good idea," Eloise said as she stood up. Her straight jeans and tank top hugged graceful curves with enough muscle to make her interesting. He smiled at her and gestured for her to follow. He led her away from the library and to his own bedroom.

He said, "It's my room."

Crimson eyes surveyed his room, lingering on the neat desk and bookshelves made of heavy wood. Shinji hadn't dared to keep posters or anything else in this room other than one picture he couldn't bring himself to get rid of that had Emiya and himself in it from Middle School. It made him yearn for a simpler time where Sakura was in the back ground and he could have friends and a life.

Her eyes found the photo and she said, "Cute boy. Friend of yours?"

"Sort of estranged," Shinji said with a shrug. _Trying to kill my sister and his girlfriend would strain any friendship, even one with Emiya._

Eloise said, "You seem lonely."

"I can make by, and I think with you here neither of us will have to worry about anything," he said with a smile.

A smile curved her coquettish lips as she said in her lilting accent, "You're quite right about that, love."

He folded his arms across his chest and said, "Of course, my favor isn't going to come free you know."

"Oh, I know," Eloise said as she moved closer to him. The sweet scent of apricots filled his nostrils as a cold hand stroked his cheek. He groaned as her chilled lips caressed his. He parted her lips with his tongue, demanding entrance. They turned as one towards his bed only to have him pushed so he was sitting on it.

She smiled at him as she gracefully sank down to her knees. He groaned as she nuzzled both thighs as one nimble hand went to the fly of his school uniform. Aching need sprang forth only to be engulfed by cool wetness and clever suction.

He moaned as his body was spiked higher and higher with pleasure. Crimson eyes looked up at him then glowed before his world was plunged into sheer agony. Screams filled the bedroom with the first spray of crimson to hit expensive wallpaper as the Dead Apostle did what she did best.

**Author's Notes: **Beast's Lair lives again! .


	5. Concerns of a Fantastical Nature

**Disclaimer: **I don't own them, Type-Moon and Nasu does.

**Author's Notes: **This story might rape the Nasuverse cannon more than a little. Also, be forewarned, this story is greatly inspired by 80's buddy cop movies like "Lethal Weapon". So expect lots of violence, things blowing up, fights, witty dialogue, and maybe some questionable adult content at latter venues.

**The Hound and the Blacksmith**

**The First Tale: The Hound and the Blacksmith**

**By Elf**

_Part Four: Concerns of a Fantastical Nature_

Pistons glided in perfect motion as the rumble of an engine sounded more like an angry beast than anything mechanical. A subtle shift of the gear and pressing a heavy foot onto the gas peddle caused the monster to roar in annoyance at being kept still. Strong hands lowered the gear and cut off the creature's mechanical heart before dismounting.

Archer tilted his head at the Dream Super Sport Honda CB77 before running a hand over the polished chrome of the handlebar. The bike was almost half a century old, but care had obviously been taken to keep it in pristine condition. If pressed, he would answer that he preferred working on older vehicles like this, even though his first vehicle had been a Suzuki Katana that had the firings missing.

That "crotch rocket" had gotten him far during the beginning of his career of being a superhero in the United States. He had repaired the bike to working condition after finding it in a junk yard and ran it into the ground. Literally. He remembered the first time he had crossed the path of a pair of Dead Apostles named Karel and Melanie and ended up sacrificing his bike to save an innocent bystander.

_Maybe I should rebuild another motorcycle like that_, he thought as he looked around the shop full of any tool he could ask for an American muscle car and more modern racing bikes. Fujimura-dono paid him well and Archer had a feeling that the old boss knew more about his city than he let on, or that his granddaughter knew about. The crime rate in Fuyuki was low compared to neighboring cities and there was very little or any drug trafficking in the city. Heaven forbid if anyone was caught doing anything to a child because they would have been dealt with swiftly and leaving nary a trace. Archer had to admire the old man's sense of right and wrong. The punk might have balked at it, but the reality of it coincided with the revision of Archer's ideal.

He studied the gorgeous machine in front of him and ran his fingers over the soft, leather seat. _Maybe I should scrap myself a bike together_, Archer thought with a tilt of his head. It meant he could easily get out of the city if needed and they were more economically sound with how gas prices were generally climbing. Physical discomfort was something Archer was all too familiar with, so riding in the elements wasn't that much of a concern for him. _I guess I'm going to need to go scouting in the junk yard to see what I can cobble together_, he mused with a smile.

Suddenly bright light washed over the dim interior of the garage, causing Archer to blink and shelter his eyes. The door had been open and standing there was the stout figure of one Fujimura Raiga standing there in his dark green kimono with the tiger print haroi over it. His white hair was cut close to his skull in a manner that naturally caused it to stick up and his features had lines sharply etched into them. Standing to the right of the solid figure was slim and lithe Seto in his three piece blue suit and to the left was compact Mokuba with his long, wild black hair tied back in a tail. The brothers were Fujimura's constant attendants and body guards.

Seto carried a .9mm Beretta under his suit jacket while Mokuba preferred his fists. Mokuba nodded and Seto grinned as one hand took off his wrap around sunglasses. "You treating my ride well, Archer?" the man asked.

"I treat everything with care that deserves it," Archer replied before bowing at Fujimura. "You honor me with your presence, Fujimura-dono."

Fujimura bowed in return and said, "You honor me with your work. Even though I wouldn't mind having some of your other talents at my beck and call."

_So you do know then_, Archer thought as he straightened up. He said, "I'm trying to keep a low profile."

"So did Kiritsugu after the War," Fujimura said as he adjusted his haroi ever so slightly.

Archer's eyes narrowed and Mokuba laughed. "We all know that magic exists, Shirou and that cute Tohsaka girl is the ruler of this land."

"You should arrange a meeting when she returns home from London," Seto said with a shrug.

Archer stared at them, his eyes narrowed as the image of his beloved falchions filled his mind and Fujimura chuckled. Archer said, "That's not my name."

"It was. I bet Kiritsugu is turning in his grave finding out his son became a heroic spirit," Fujimura said with a shake of his head and a smile.

Archer frowned and Mokuba said, "Don't worry, we're the only ones who know who you are."

"We figured it out when we saw Taiga-chan flirting with you," Seto said with a shrug.

Fujimura's sloe eyes met Archer's as he said, "And you were able to graft your arm to Shirou without it killing him instantly. The only way that's possible was if the spiritual match was perfect."

Archer looked at his whole and perfect left arm before flexing it, feeling the muscles pulse and move in response. With a turn of the wrist five fingers moved in harmony before the appendage was rested on the seat of the motorcycle. Archer frowned and asked, "How much do you know, Fujimura-dono?"

"There's nothing in this town that I don't know about, or will eventually know about," the old man said with a shrug and a smile.

Seto stepped up and pulled out a manila envelope from his suit. "Which is why we're here, Archer. We're not experts, but we believe there is a threat to this town that we cannot handle," the yakuza bodyguard said as his deep blue eyes met Archer's.

Archer took the envelope and opened it. The paper was rough under the callused fingertip, but the discomfort was ignored once it was open. Archer pulled out the contents and frowned at a series of highly detailed black and white photos. His frown deepened as he looked at each picture.

There were three separate subjects and different angles, but theme was all the same. The metal gurneys were all too familiar as the paper thin shrouds. Skin came off looking deathly pale even with the lack of color in the picture. There were four corpses, two women and two men. Their ages and even races differed radically, but each body had something in common. All of them were exposed from the chest down, perfectly displaying two black puncture wounds on their throats.

"Damn," Archer said with a scowl as he gripped the slick paper between his fists. He looked at Fujimura and asked, "When did these happen?"

"Within the last two nights," Fujimura said with a sigh and a shake of his head.

Archer asked, "Are they at the same morgue?"

"No," Seto said with a shake of his head.

Mokuba answered, "No, one's in Miyama-cho and the other three are in Shinto."

Archer looked at them and said, "I'll take care of this."

"Then consider your rates tripled," Seto said as he straightened up.

Archer frowned and said, "I'm not doing this to get paid, Seto."

"No, but maybe you should be," Fujimura said with a lopsided grin.

* * *

><p>"Nii-san wasn't at practice this morning," Sakura said as she tucked the lock of hair tied by her pink ribbon behind her ear. Her lover straightened up, his recent growth spurt becoming more and more evident from his height to the width of his shoulders. Emiya Shirou frowned before running a hand through his coppery red hair.<p>

He said, "Well, we have homeroom together, Sakura."

"It's not like him to skip though, Sempai," she said with a shake of her head.

Shirou smiled, his golden-brown eyes flickered around before he bent forward to graze her cheek with his lips. She took a deep breath as the simple touch filled her with warmth as her body automatically responded to him. Small hands tightened into fists as slow breaths were taken to try to calm the burning need from within. _Damned worms, she thought as she looked up at her lover, Even though they're gone, they still leave their mark._

Even now, after so long, she wondered how Shirou could even touch her after everything that had been done, what had been put inside of her.

Shirou said, "I know, he still likes showing off to the first years."

"Well, Mitsuzuri-taicho and he had a fight last night," Sakura said with a slight smile, "She punched him."

Shirou's eyes widened and he muttered, "Mitsuzuri can be scarier than Tohsaka sometimes, Sakura."

"She seemed to have a lot on her mind," Sakura said.

He said, "Well I did see Lancer talking to her the other day. He's . . . rather quick with girls, Sakura."

"Do you think he did something?" Sakura asked with wide eyes. _Even Rider would be crushed under him. Lancer also doesn't seem like the type to take no for an answer._

Shirou shrugged and said, "I don't think so. He flirts a lot, but if a girl told him know he'd stop." He frowned, shook his head and said, "For a little while at least."

Sakura frowned and said, "I might have to ask Rider to watch over her."

"Over my dead body," came a familiar voice that could have frozen water behind them.

The lovers spun around to see the very subject they were just speaking about standing there with a scowl marring her pretty features. Amber eyes were narrowed as her hands were on her slim hips. Sakura blinked and said, "Mitsuzuri-taicho, we were just talking about you."

"I think she knows, Sakura," Shirou said as he rested his hand on Sakura's shoulder before casting Ayako a sweet smile. "Hey Mitsuzuri, what's up?"

Ayako said, "You keep your pet freak away from me, Sakura-chan. Or Lancer _will_."

Sakura's eyes widened as she met Shirou's, his expression mirroring hers. He swallowed, gave a nervous laugh and said, "We don't know what you're talking about Mitsuzuri."

"Lancer told me everything," Ayako said in a low voice as she looked around.

Ice washed over Sakura's spine as she stared at the girl. Shirou frowned and said, "He did_ what_?"

"I don't like being lied to," Ayako said as she folded her arms under her breasts, "I get you two have to keep your Hogwarts experience a secret, but . . . Keep Rider away from me."

Shirou frowned and said, "Rider wouldn't hurt anyone if she doesn't have to, Mitsuzuri, but I'd stay away from Lancer though. He's dangerous."

"No, he's not. At least he has enough of a pair to tell me the whole damned truth," Ayako said before taking a deep breath.

Sakura jumped as her level eyes met hers and Ayako said, "Look, I know you wouldn't hurt a fly, Sakura-chan . . ."

_"Hey look, that girl's naked . . . Let's get closer . . ."_

Red tinged black. Tendrils moving rapidly. Enveloping. Devouring. Painful hunger . . .

Sakura swallowed as her chest began to tighten at the memory. A firm, warm hand wrapped around hers pouring strength into her. Shirou's eyes met hers as he gripped her hand with a firm nod. A large weight lifted itself from Sakura's chest and she could breathe once again before staring at Ayako.

"You have no idea what I'm capable of, Mitsuzuri-taicho," Sakura said in a low voice.

Shirou said, "Shinji was the one who had Rider attack you, not Sakura."

"I know that, Emiya," Ayako said bristling, "But she's still stalking me."

Sakura's eyes widened as she met Shirou's. Shirou frowned and looked back at the Archery captain. He said, "What?"

"That crazy vampire woman's stalking me," Ayako said in a soft voice.

Sakura scowled and said, "She is now, is she?"

"Oh uho," Shirou said with an audible swallow.

A smile spread across Sakura's face as she said, "Don't worry Mitsuzuri-taicho, I'll have a long talk with her. Now, I'm trying to find my brother as he skipped practice."

"He's probably burying his head after I punched him yesterday," Ayako said with a sigh.

Shirou grinned and said, "You're not the first person to have that impulse."

"I know. Sorry, I didn't mean to be a bitch just . . . I'm just glad I'm not going crazy," Ayako said with a smile and a wave.

Shirou said, "Mitsuzuri?"

"Yeah, Emiya? Gonna join the team now that you're Sakura-chan's boyfriend?" Ayako asked with a grin.

Shirou's expression mirrored Archer's grim stare as he said, "You can't speak a word of this to anyone. People could kill you for it."

"I won't," Ayako said before turning to head off to the other direction.

Sakura sighed and said, "Lancer . . ."

"He's a real pest," Shirou snapped with a glare that was generally reserved for his older, alternative self.

Sakura laughed and said, "You only give Archer that look."

"Honestly, I can stand Archer better than that guy," Shirou said with a shake of his head.

Sakura sighed and said, "I know, just this is troublesome. He can't go telling everyone about this."

"Lancer seems like the type that doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut," Shirou said with a shake of his head.

Sakura nodded and replied, "I'll ask Archer if he could talk to him. After I have a long talk with Rider."

* * *

><p>Archer was standing at the squat, brick building that served as a free clinic in Miyama-cho and housed its morgue. People moved in and out of the building, some in rather careworn conditions. The rest of the buildings around were squat and sagging ever so slightly as well in different stages of decay. This block seemed to be slowly dying, a part of Fuyuki that only the most desolate had remembered and still used.<p>

Taking a deep breath Archer moved to the alley beside the building and walked until he found the back exit that lead to the morgue. The still quiet here was a stark contrast to the bustling noise at the front of the building. _The dead tell no tales_, Archer thought dryly before opening the heavy glass door.

He was greeted by harsh green lighting that buzzed from above and a cold blast of air to the face. Harsh, chemical smells burned the nostrils, but under the antiseptic burn there was the earthy stench of human waste, the sweet smell of rot, and the rank, ammonia filled odor of urine. No matter where in the world he was, Archer realized that all places like this smelled the same. His nose curled ever so slightly at the smell of death as he walked down a black and white checkered tile walkway. Only the buzzing from the fluorescent lights and the quiet pound of steel toed working boots on tile were the only noise reaching keen ears.

Archer walked to a thick concrete door with reinforced glass. He put his hand on the heavy steel handle and began to turn it. A wet thud and a pricing scream shrilled out from behind right as a door opened from right across the hall. Limbs and white fabric tumbled out of the room as one red stained hand reached heavenward.

"Help me!" came the cry, over and over again as sobs cut it off. Large, bespectacled eyes in a pale face met Archer's as the wet, blood covered hand reached up to Archer. More crimson stained the left side of the once pristine lab coat as more of the liquid squirted from beneath a hand clenched over the girl's throat.

He was at the tech's side in an instant as a length of red cloth entered his mind. Prana flickered up and flared through circuits to make the holy cloth a reality between callused palms. Archer knelt by the girl's side as he began to wrap the shroud around and around, binding the girl's hand to her throat. "Don't move," he instructed as he looked up to see the trail of blood leading back from the room only to be greeted by a low, moaning growl.

Standing in the door way was a ragged wretch that could have been once called a man. Long hair smeared and tangled with gore brushed against starkly pale shoulders with each quivering step. Its chest was carefully cleaved open revealing glistening meat and neatly cracked bone from within as its flesh swayed with each movement. Even from this distance, Archer could make out the two neat puncture wounds that had been driven into the carotid artery.

"Trace. _On._"

More prana welled through twenty-seven fully open and formed circuits at the all too familiar spell, the full usefulness of that potential granted through rebirth. In a spray of a golden shimmer one white falchion formed in a right hand while its black mirror formed in the left. A pair of short swords that were forged just to be beautiful and perfect swords, but due to the sacrifices in their creation were lifted to the realm of gods and heroes. Swords without a hero that were perfect for a hero without a name who's body was made out of swords.

Kansho and Bakuya fit into Archer's hands with the same ease as they always did, the gorgeous swords an extension of his left and right hands. Wielding them again was like coming home or returning to a lover after being parted from them for far too long. He flexed his hands around the leather wrapped grip before long legs spurred into motion.

The butchered Dead reached out towards him with lumbering arms, but a graceful pivot caused Bakuya to block the limbs. Kansho all but sang as it was swung in a clean arch before meeting and cleaving through meat and bone like butter. Thick, black fluid spurted once before the ruined body jerked and crashed to the ground. There was a wet splat as the head followed suit before rolling in a trail of its own gore.

More shouts and yelling were heard as a loud voice called out, "Freeze, hands in the air and drop the swords!"

"Stupid low luck rating," Archer said as the prana was relinquished, the image of the swords shattered in glittering flecks. He spun around to see a security guard rushing towards him as people in scrubs went to help the girl. The overweight man roughly shoved Archer into the wall and twisted his arms behind his back.

He sighed and looked towards the ceiling with its humming and sickly green lights as he relented to the all too familiar feeling of being arrested.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>In a bit of shameless promotion here, I'm a published author. Please check out my Amazon link here:

Jennifer-L.-Barnes/e/B0052A12Y6/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_9 and help a starving writer out!

Also, if you take the time to like and follow, please leave a review.


	6. 5 The Golden Rule

**Disclaimer: **I don't own them, Type-Moon and Nasu does.

**Author's Notes: **This story might rape the Nasuverse cannon more than a little. Also, be forewarned, this story is greatly inspired by 80's buddy cop movies like "Lethal Weapon". So expect lots of violence, things blowing up, fights, witty dialogue, and maybe some questionable adult content at latter venues.

**The Hound and the Blacksmith**

**The First Tale: The Hound and the Blacksmith**

**By Elf**

_**Part Five: The Golden Rule**_

Lancer was merrily whistling to himself as he stocked flimsy metal shelves with various confections and other assorted goods. Keen eyes raked over labels proclaiming steamed cakes, melon bread, and red bean filling. People were milling about as they collected their wears as the Irish hero worked diligently at making sure they had wares to choose from. It was simple yet honest work, and it raked up a paycheck bigger than the one at the Florist had.

Of course, what he'd rather be doing would be crossing blades in battle with the smell of sweat and blood thick in the air.

_Not much of that going on lately_, he thought with a sigh as he filled a shelf full of banana crème rolls. _Ayako feels almost as at odds as I do_, he thought as a smile filled his face. Had he a tail it would have been wagging at the thought of his amber eyed vixen. A slow, steady charge was tingling along sensitive skin in anticipation. He had won her favor again, and this time he wasn't going to lose it until they both decided to part ways.

Unlike most women she wasn't asking for forever, just for some fun now. That fact alone intrigued the hell out of him and the fact she was gorgeous and had the sort of body meant for both battle and taking a man just made her even sweeter. He wondered if she'd ever been touched before, or if he was going to be the one to introduce her to the pleasures of the flesh. _That_ thought alone spread his grin wide enough to almost crack his face.

"Did you hear about what happened in that clinic in Miyama-cho?"

Lancer shrugged and was going to ignore the low gossiping of housewives until another equally low female voice said, "One dead and that poor girl in critical care."

"My sister works at that clinic. They arrested some giant man wielding a pair of short swords," the first woman said.

_Giant man with short swords . . ._ Lancer frowned, _that_ sounded all too familiar.

The second woman made a clicking sound with her tongue before sighing. She said, "I thought we were past all of that nonsense that happened last winter."

"Well, you know the killer was never caught, just the murders stopped happening," the first woman said with a snort.

The second one replied, "You think he came back?"

"I just hope he gets what's coming to him," the first one snorted.

Lancer frowned as the fishwives conversation turned elsewhere, to some actress or TV show. He rubbed the back of his neck as the implications rang heavily. A quick glance to the wall signaled that within fifteen minutes there would be time enough to ask questions with a hefty price. Lancer turned back to his cart filled with pastries and took a quick look around. For the moment the isle was completely empty with no interlopers or "normal" people.

He hadn't been the quickest Servant because the rest of them were all slow blokes. The Hound of Ulster moved in a blaze, kicking up tiny puffs of dust with each rapid step as items were packed into place. Then he moved to the next isle to tidy it up, careful not to get caught. Yet the clock continued to drag at its agonizing pace, the fifteen minutes not running themselves up in a hurried fashion. One foot tapped against tile as Lancer stared at the clock before he got his time to himself.

When the hand made its final rotation to where it needed to go, Lancer all but ran to the back room. The heavy white apron that was regulatory wear was thrown off to flutter to the table. At the back of the room on a tiny, flimsy table was a simple black phone. He stopped as he dug into his trousers to find his wallet. He opened it and pulled out a thick piece of parchment paper with neat, precise handwriting and a number. It would be international distance, but Lancer didn't want to make a good lass cry if he didn't have to.

_As much as I'd like to dance with the Bowman again, I don't want to condemn an innocent man either,_ Lancer thought as he stared at Tohsaka Rin's information scrawled on that sheet of paper. She had given it to him one day after school without her Archer's knowing. She then all but placed a _geas_ on him to make him promise to call if Archer was ever in any danger. "Bollocks," he said as he had no idea what to do.

His eyes drifted from the phone back to the paper before it was secured back into his wallet. The billfold made its way home back into a snug pocket while the phone lay untouched in its cradle. "The hell with it," Lancer said before picking up the phone and pounding the correct sequence of numbers in.

A shrill ring filled his ears and made him flinch. He pulled the earpiece away from him with a grimace as it continued to ring, ring, and ring. An irate foot tapped restlessly against the floor to accompany the harsh shrill ring, but there was no answer. "Well, bugger it. Lass, if you want me to call you, then bloody be there," Lancer snapped at the phone before slamming it into its cradle.

He stood to his full height and said, "Bowman can take care of himself . . ."

_Unless he's gotten over his head,_ Lancer thought as he began to grin. If Archer had found himself defeated, then what an opponent that would be. Fists clinched in anticipation to feel steel between their palms and the hot spray of blood on them once again.

* * *

><p>"Where the hell did those swords go?"<p>

Archer sighed as he rested his bound hands on the metal table before him. Keen eyes raked over the cuffs digging into bronze wrists. _Trace On. Analyze. Break into the required eight parts. Three inherent flaws in the links. The left cuff's lock is weak and a good blow would break it open._

"Hey, asshole, didn't you hear me?" the gruff voice snapped at him again.

Archer's eyes narrowed as he replied, "I believe you were imagining these swords you keep talking about." _My imagination brought them into reality_, he thought as he looked at the stout police officer standing there. His suit was wrinkled, the tie did not match and he had a good day's growth of beard littering his face.

His partner, better kept save for the hair that was receding farther and father back into his head, rested a slim hand on his partner's broad shoulder. "Easy there, Hiro, we don't know if this guy killed Dr. Hirano or not," he said in a low, haunting voice.

"Besides, the wounds on Dr. Hirano's throat weren't caused by a blade," Archer said as he eyed the two detectives, "And Hoshi-san's wound was made by teeth, which your forensics agents already explained to you."

Hiro's dark eyes narrowed and he said, "I don't think I like your tone of voice . . . what the hell was this guy's name again?"

"Archer," the slimmer detective said.

Hiro snapped, "What sort of name is that, Keichi?"

"A foreign one," Keichi said with a hint of a smile.

Archer shrugged and said, "My adopted mother was German." _Or would have been, if she would have survived the War. _

"We're running your record, and we're going to keep you here until we get some damned answers from you. And you sure as hell can explain why you had these," Hiro said before throwing the manila folder that Seto had given Archer mere hours before on the table before him.

Keichi said, "Come on Hiro."

"Fucking freak," Hiro said with a sneer before storming out of the room. Keichi gave him an apologetic smile before following his partner.

Archer sighed as he looked at the handcuffs encircling his wrists. It would be all too easy to shatter them and escape, but that would simply make him look even more guilty. He narrowed his eyes at the Dead that had attacked at the morgue, apparently waking up during its autopsy with a severe need to feed. _Considering all that physical damage, that's not surprising_, he thought as the image of the ruined mess of its chest coming to mind.

He wanted to call Fujimura to have him arrange so Archer could legally leave, but Detective Kurosawa Hiro would have none of that. So all Archer could do was wait. _While I'm stuck here there's a chance those other three might rise as the Dead and do the same._

He flexed his hands as the image of the girl with the wide eyes behind glasses came to mind. The feel of her blood had been hot against his skin as he had bound her wound with blessed cloth. _Cloth that probably suddenly vanished as soon as they pulled me away from the morgue_, Archer said. His eyes narrowed as he thought, _And if she does die, then chances are at will that she'll wake up as one of the Dead._

_I should have cut her head off, not treated her wounds._

_And if the other three had enough potential to wake up as the Dead . . ._

_I wonder if Satsujinki is active in this reality, _Archer mused. He sighed and stretched out his long legs, knowing fully well he wasn't going to be going anywhere for a long time. He'd been arrested like this many times before due to misunderstandings or the like. It was just best to let them shake him around a little bit, realize they have nothing substantial on him and then let him go. However there were situations like this where time was of the essence.

The chance for a person bitten to become even a Dead was rather slim, but the one who had apparently awakened during his autopsy had enough potential to rise again. Due to the corpse's physical condition due to the autopsy it was probably starving for blood to heal itself. The medical examiner and his tech had been the unfortunate ones who were in the clichéd wrong place at the wrong time. The fact that the girl was still alive was a cold comfort because there was always the chance she could turn and would be in an area for more potential victims.

"A vicious cycle," Archer said with a shake of his head and a sigh.

Footsteps sounded outside of the interrogation room, more sure and lighter than the two detectives' footfalls. Frowning, Archer turned to look at the glass window at the door to see a flash of golden blond. His body tensed as the door was flung open with a bang and a pair of nearly glowing crimson eyes met his.

"Faker," was the King of Heroes' greeting as the other man's gorgeous countenance spread into a slow smile.

Archer tensed and reinforced, throwing his arms apart in a smooth movement. Links of steel shattered like glass before skidding across the table and the floor as bound hands were now free. The chair clattered to the floor as its occupant rose to his full height and prana flared through circuits in preparation.

"Such a welcome for a king, Faker?" Gilgamesh said with a chuckle and a shake of his head.

Archer smirked and said, "Forgive me for bowing, but you should understand in all of your wisdom why I don't trust you."

"Hmph," Gilgamesh replied with his lower lip thrust out ever so slightly as he folded his arms over his chest, "I come to do you a favor and I'm treated poorly." He shook his head with a sigh before raking his eyes over Archer.

Archer studied him, taking in the Armani charcoal grey suit with the red shirt and black tie underneath it along with equally designer loafers with no socks. Apparently, Gilgamesh was adapting rather well to this time without the Grail's taint affecting his sanity. True the former king had aspirations about ruling the world, but he had quickly found out that money was the new power in this day and age. With his already ingrained wealth and charisma he had become the CEO of a company called Golden Rule which apparently handled everything from aviation to zoology.

Behind closed doors Archer knew that Gilgamesh had a cadre of powerful magi at his beck and call as well.

With his sanity regained, Archer knew that even with his still substantial ego, there was no way he could win a battle against the Golden King. If he so choose, Gilgamesh could make him a bloody stain on the wall and spin it into his favor for the public. However Gilgamesh had some sort of strange fascination with the "Faker" much to Archer's dismay.

"I didn't ask for your favor," Archer replied as his eyes shifted to the door.

Gilgamesh smiled and said, "Of course not. That is one of the reasons I adore you, Faakkkkeeerrrr."

The word was all but a purr on the King's lips, more of a lover's endearment than an insult.

"I'm so damned lucky," Archer said with a snort and a shake of his head.

Gilgamesh smiled and said, "And such cutting wit. You know, if you worked for me you would want for nothing. Beautiful women, finery, automobiles . . . I would even allow you to indulge in your penchant for manual labor."

"I'm not going to be your damned pet," Archer retorted, "Why don't you go bother Lancer and Rider?"

"The mongrel and the harlot? While I have a fondness for wild animals, that mongrel does nothing for me not to mention he is loud and bothersome. The harlot . . . it is a king's right to take only what is pure and new," Gilgamesh said with a snort.

Archer laughed and said, "And who the hell said I was pure and new?"

"Well, you are useful. Despite what little you have and copy, you make a place for yourself here. You protect what is mine from harm," Gilgamesh said with a shrug, "That . . . intrigues me."

Archer groaned, "Goddamn it."

"So you were inspecting some monster eating my subjects?" Gilgamesh asked with a smile.

Archer frowned but nodded, knowing that lying would get him bound in chains and bent  
>over that desk.<p>

Which had happened once before.

Rin had watched with wide eyes and a look that scared Archer more than just a little bit.

It was something he wasn't going to talk about and only Rin and Sakura knew about it. Gilgamesh was going to approach Rin to work for him, Rin, unknowing who he was exactly, was going to take the offer. Archer cut her off and it ended in combat. Or rather, bound in divine chains with Gilgamesh laughing in his ear as something poked him that he really didn't want to think about.

Ever.

Like he was right now.

_Goddamn it._

"I see that old man told you about it," Gilgamesh said with a frown as his perfectly manicured hand swept across the table to pick up the manila folder. The heavy folder was opened and the glossy photographs paged through as a wide mouth settled into a thin line. "Disgusting filth. It would be an insult to beasts to call these things such."

"Well, considering your fondness for beasts . . ." Archer said with a shrug.

Gilgamesh smirked and said, "I have a fondness for a great and many things that are defiant to me to the end." Then the smirk was wiped clean from his face as the blond shut the folder and threw it back on the table. "He would have enjoyed your company I think. He was quick with his tongue too."

"Which you enjoyed," Archer muttered.

The smile grew across Gilgamesh's face anew as he said, "I would like to see how well you use yours."

"You're not my type," Archer said and swallowed hard as the king took a step closer to him.

Gilgamesh simply smiled and said, "It is a king's right to take the virtue of a virgin if they so choose."

"Well, I'm not a virgin," Archer said with a laugh.

Lashes fluttered over crimson eyes as Gilgamesh said, "In rebirth everything is pure once again, Faker, and I am not the only one who values purity."

Archer frowned and said, "It's not your style to be cryptic, King of Heroes."

"I spent too much time with the priest. It was an easy habit to pick up," Gilgamesh said with a shrug, "Pity, I think you two would have enjoyed each other's company."

Archer surprised himself by saying, "I think we would have."

"Well, I will do you this favor, but one day I will collect," Gilgamesh said with a smile as he headed out of the interrogation room.

"Somehow I'm not surprised," Archer said with a sigh as moments later Gilgamesh reappeared with a slender black man with his head shaved bald in a blue pinstripe suit. Behind them Hiro and Keichi came in, Hiro looking like he wanted to punch an all but purring Gilgamesh in the face as Archer's bail was arranged.

**Author's Notes: **I hope everyone is enjoying this turn of The Nasuverse meets Urban Fantasy. It's become a bit different than when I first envisioned it, but it's still been a fun ride. Also, if you're liking this story, I have something else that I've written that I would love to recommend.

Best of all, it's _**free **_to read. That's right, no Amazon links.

So, are you tired of vampires who sparkle?

Like 80's movie action?

Have a hard on for Whedon-esque dialogue?

Well, I have just the story for you!

_**The Law Unto Herself Chronicles **_star Forest, a vampire who's just a bit too good for her own good and can't leave well enough alone. Armed with an absurdly large hand gun, a love for pop culture, and quite the smart mouth she fights the Forces of Evil.

You can find the story here: home/read/533 It's free to read, and if you like the story please comment, and more importantly vote! I can earn rewards (money) depending on how big my audience is. So I hope you read and enjoy! I mean if you love Archer and Lancer's adventures, you're going to probably enjoy Forest's as well.


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